Friday, October 30, 2009

father and daughter bathing together

The parents now say they invented the story of a babysitter for fear of losing custody.These pictures are from a charity event held at the Bath Royal United Hospital in England. Nicolas Cage was there to help raise funds for a new BABY!!! unit. Who knew Nicolas was such a big fan of BABIES? Yes, the baby on the right ...Williams pulls out of MTV awards show; Jackson's dad: 'King of Pop is worth more dead than alive'; Brown moves on with a Bad Girl; Nicolas Cage's father dies; Newman tops celebrity givers list; Neuwirth's husband branded a 'deadbeat dad ...There she may have been given a long lead as well, because it was rumored that she'd given birth in 1574 to an illegitimate daughter fathered by a peasant boy. The child, if there ever was one, was purportedly smuggled awaya��to where and to whom, .... After Anna Darvulia, one of Elizabeth's entourage, suggested that bathing in the blood of virgins would be as beneficial as a fountain of youth, Elizabeth lured as many peasant girls as she could to Castle Csejthe, ...My Little Tigger! - Yesterday at around seven in the evening I wash bathing Jake when I heard somebody knocking on the door. When I look whos there I saw my mom in law ... 5 hours ago. La vida es hermosa A� I need a rest now - Ok I think I have enough, .... Having Our Own Place - When we decided to go back home to General Santos City, together with my younger sibling, we all wanted to have our own house just within the family's home... 1 day ago. Joyoz Journal and Designs ...Man accused of running over daughter in Peoria still on loose, Condition of two Surprise women injured in incident improves. Search continues for father. ... Nancy Mowry ABR CRS GRI, Russ Lyon Sotheby\'s International Realty. Phoenix - $10990000. MLS 4247856 5 bed / 5 bath 5001+ / 1971. Mackey Martin, Prudential Arizona Properties. Scottsdale - $499900. MLS 4265013 4 bed / 3 bath 3001 - 3500 / 1985. Chris & Dawn Kirkpatrick, PLLC, Realty Executives ...Father joins Twerton Park tribute to Melanie Hall. Saturday, October 17, 2009, 17:55. Comment on this story. Fans and players at Bath City Football Club joined forces today to remember Melanie Hall. The tribute came at Twerton Park, just under a fortnight after the 25-year-old ... Mr Hall, who is still a regular supporter and was chairman for seven years, attended the match against Basingstoke and said he was honoured his friends had decided to remember his daughter. ...With much gratitude, I wonder if I can have your professional help to capture some important moments of Teodora and us together when she comesa��a�? I wrote her back immediately and told her I would be honored to share in her daughter's ..."I could not take a bath. I could not play with my toys because I could not bring it. . . . I would feel like I was trapped in my room for 10 years," said 7-year-old Jacob. "I would be scared forever," 9-year-old Miguel said. ...Father/Daughter Dance, to Paul Simon's "Father and Daughter". Mother/Son Dance, to "Bushel and a Peck" by Doris Day. Everybody dance! At this point, the night really began to take off and zoom by. We tried to make our rounds and see as ...
Trust is a big thing to me

For me to be in a relationship there has to be trust in both directions if the trust is not there i wouldent be able to stay.

earlier in my relationship i didnt believe the trust was there basicly when it came to her kids she has 3 to a different father and we want to have 1 together.

the basic reasons i believed the trust wasnt there and i pick up easily on things regardless of how small.

these are the reasons i felt the trust wasnt there.

1. Told me she wouldent leave her kids with me to babysit.
2. Told me i couldent bath the kids or change nappies
3. would not let me drive car while her kids were in car.
4. on a couple of occasions eldest daughter (6 years old went to change but was sent to bathroom to change).


a number of fights had occured basicly all coming down to things that were said and i nearly walked from the relationship.

however we have been living together now for about a month and the following things have occured.

1. The kids have been left with me sometime 1 sometimes all not for long periods but sometimes 40 minutes.

2. have helped with baby like getting her out of bath and drying her and putting a nappy on her.

3. drive the car all the time with kids in car sometimes with just the kids sometimes with the mum.

4. eldest daughter is not sent away to change anymore and is allowed to run around completely naked when im around.

5. 4yo son was allowed to come to the coast for about 4 hours just with me.

6. when in sydney 4yo son was allowed to sleep in same bed as me. ( i was dressed of course

do you think there is any trust issues here?


Kidnapped

My father, besides many slaves, had a numerous family of which seven lived to grow up, including myself and a sister who was the only daughter. As I was the youngest of the sons I became, of course, the greatest favorite with my mother and was always with her; and she used to take particular pains to form my mind. I was trained up from my earliest years in the art of war, my daily exercise was shooting and throwing javelins, and my mother adorned me with emblems after the manner of our greatest warriors. In this way I grew up till I was turned the age of 11, when an end was put to my happiness in the following manner. Generally when the grown people in the neighborhood were gone far in the fields to labor, the children assembled together in some of the neighborsa�� premises to play, and commonly some of us used to get up a tree to look for any assailant or kidnapper that might come upon us, for they sometimes took those opportunities of our parentsa�� absence to attack and carry off as many as they could seize. One day, as I was watching at the top of a tree in our yard, I saw one of those people come into the yard of our next neighbor but one to kidnap, there being many stout young people in it. Immediately on this I gave the alarm of the rogue1 and he was surrounded by the stoutest of them, who entangled him with cords so that he could not escape till some of the grown people came and secured him.


But alas! ere long it was my fate to be thus attacked and to be carried off when none of the grown people were nigh. One day, when all our people were gone out to their works as usual and only I and my dear sister were left to mind the house, two men and a woman got over our walls, and in a moment seized us both, and without giving us time to cry out or make resistance they stopped our mouths and ran off with us into the nearest wood. Here they tied our hands and continued to carry us as far as they could till night came on, when we reached a small house where the robbers halted for refreshment and spent the night. We were then unbound but were unable to take any food, and being quite overpowered by fatigue and grief, our only relief was some sleep, which allayed our misfortune for a short time. The next morning we left the house and continued traveling all the day. For a long time we had kept to the woods, but at last we came into a road which I believed I knew. I had now some hopes of being delivered, for we had advanced but a little way before I discovered some people at a distance, on which I began to cry out for assistance: But my cries had no other effect than to make them tie me faster and stop my mouth, and then they put me into a large sack. They also stopped my sistera��s mouth and tied her hands, and in this manner we proceeded till we were out of the sight of these people.

When we went to rest the following night they offered us some victuals, but we refused it, and the only comfort we had was in being in one anothera��s arms all that night and bathing each other with our tears. But alas! we were soon deprived of even the small comfort of weeping together. The next day proved a day of greater sorrow than I had yet experienced, for my sister and I were then separated while we lay clasped in each othera��s arms. It was in vain that we besought them not to part us; she was torn from me and immediately carried away, while I was left in a state of distraction not to be described. I cried and grieved continually, and for several days I did not eat anything but what they forced into my mouth. At length, after many daysa�� traveling, during which I had often changed masters, I got into the hands of a chieftain in a very pleasant country. This man had two wives and some children, and they all used me extremely well and did all they could to comfort me, particularly the first wife, who was something like my mother. Although I was a great many daysa�� journey from my fathera��s house, yet these people spoke exactly the same language with us. This first master of mine, as I may call him, was a smith, and my principal employment was working his bellows,2 which were the same kind as I had seen in my vicinity. They were in some respects not unlike the stoves here in gentlemena��s kitchens, and were covered over with leather; and in the middle of that leather a stick was fixed, and a person stood up and worked it in the same manner as is done to pump water out of a cask with a hand pump. I believe it was gold he worked, for it was of a lovely bright yellow color and was worn by the women on their wrists and anklesa��.


Soon after this my mastera��s only daughter and child by his first wife sickened and died, which affected him so much that for some time he was almost frantic, and really would have killed himself had he not been watched and prevented. However, in a small time afterward he recovered and I was again sold. I was now carried to the left of the suna��s rising, through many different countries and a


I am a unmarried mother to a 6 month old little girl me and the father are no longer together I want him to be apart of his daughter's life but I am worried about her being alone with him I let him see her whenever he wants but I do not want him to take her off anywhere we broke up because he was very unclean would not bath properly and was always bl owed up he masturbated into my clothes and hed them under the bed tried for weeks to figure out the terrible smell in the bedroom then me and my 3 year old cousin were playing she hid the car keys from us and i happened to look under my mattress and we pull out one of my bathing suits and some of my panties with flies flying around it where he masturbated into it i also keep catching him on porn sites he did not help me with her at all and just recently started coming around when he was living with me he did not change her feed her and barely held her only if we asked him to he can't keep a steady job and now that he doesn't live with me he sleeps on the floor at his parents house he didn't even stay at the hospital with me when i had her he still only comes around once or twice a month sometimes not even then and only stays 30 min to an hour everynow and then a little longer he isn't on the birth certifcate and she has my last name I completely support her myself I have had the same job since i was old enough to work and i work full time i got my own place and provide everything she needs the past two months he stated giving me a lil money because i asked him too because of her medicines Socialservices would not help me if he want helping at all i told him so he started giving a lil bit he is always tring to cause problems i don't want to take her away from her father but i don't trust him with her alone or with his family ...please help what can i do


Hey, everyone, it's jess
i've written on here before,asking advice about my ex boyfriend,who wants to take me to court over access to our one year old daughter.
I desperately want him to drop this whole court thing so i kinda need to stay on his good side right now.
Thing is, my ex boyfriend HATES my boyfriend (it's not a recent thing, they've hated each other since school)
I've been with my boyfriend for six months now ( my ex boyfriend and i broke up when i was five months pregnant) and when i first started seeing him,my ex boyfriend would tell me that he didn't want my boyfriend near my daughter,and that he did want him to pick her up, play with her,cuddle her,feed her bath her,put her to bed or any of those things, and at first i understood, i was wary about bringing another guy into her life, i'm always wary of who's around her.
However, in those six months, he has really bonded with her, and i'm actually glad that's happened, i couldn't have stayed with him if he didn't. Yes, he is there when i put her to bed, and yes he does cuddle her, play with her, he'll feed her sometimes or bath her and she likes him.
I've tried to tell her father in the past that this is a good thing, and that my boyfriend is just another person who loves her, but my ex won't have it and just said that "she doesn't need someone like him in her life" so,i kinda told him at the time that he is in her life and to get used to it.
Anyway, things never really got any better between them and there was an incident where the two of them ended having a full on fight in the street about something (i don't know what happened,i wasn't there) and the police were called.
I was so appalled by their behaviour at the time, that i did call things off with my boyfriend and i did stop my ex boyfriend seeing our daughter for a couple of months (maybe it wasn't the best thing, but i was just angry)
Now though, even though my ex boyfriend is able to see our daughter again, he still wants to go to court about this.
What i haven't said to him yet is that i am seeing my boyfriend again, he's a great guy, and so is my ex boyfriend, it's just when they get together that they behave stupidly.
I'm worried now that if by ex boyfriend does know, then it's not going to help me win him over atall.
I am thinking that i may just be better off ending things with my boyfriend, but i'm i not allowed to be happy just because my ex boyfriend has spat his dummy out?? He has a girlfriend and i get along with her.
If i break up with my boyfriend then it has to be that way, it's not fair on my daughter to have him coming and going but i don't want that.
Or i get my ex boyfriend to accept him, and i don't know HOW to do that.
I honestly don't know what to do here.
Thanks for listening -if you've even read this far, as i appear to have written a book!!!!!!!
RichieR, thanks for repliying, my ex boyfriend didn't abandon me, our breakup was mutual, he's always been there for our daughter. Sorry, if i gave the wrong impression with that.
Sorry if i didn't explain this very well, my ex boyfriend doesn't want to go to court because of my boyfriend, he wants to go to court because i stopped him seeing his daughter. I'm just worried that having my boyfriend around will make things worse


Hey,everyone,i'm Jess.
Erm, where do i start? Ok,I'm 20 and i have a 1 year old daughter with my ex boyfriend,we're still friends and he usually sees her as much as he can.The thing is, about 6 months ago i started seeing someone else,and he and my ex boyfriend can't stand each other (it's not a recent thing,they've hated each other since school).
My ex boyfriend has always said that he doesn't want my boyfriend near my daughter,and that he doesn't want him to pick her up, feed her,put her to bed,bath her........ I've tried explaining to him that he needs to get along with her as he's my boyfriend and i want her to like him and vice versa. My boyfriend does cuddle her,play with her and he is there when i put her to bed,feed her... ect, he's great with her and she does like him and i'm happy about that.
The thing is,it's brought no end of sniping between him and her father and i've noticed that my boyfriend does sometimes say things to wind my ex boyfriend up and it's getting ridiculous. The atmosphere whenever they're in the same room,like when my ex boyfriend picks my daughter up to take her out or drops her off is horrible.
I let my boyfriend and his sister take her into town about 2 months ago and his sister brought her back as he and my ex boyfriend had had a full on fight in the street.
So i basically told then both to go away and grow up (except,not so politely) and that if they were going to behave like that then neither of them were coming anywhere near her.
I haven't seen either of them since then as i won't have behaviour like that around my daughter.
I've spoken to my boyfriend a in the last couple of days and he wants us to be together, So do i.
I've obviously also spoken to my ex boyfriend,and, because i haven't let him come round,he's on about going through the courts to see her, which is so trivial,and the thing is,he's not normally trivial,he's normally a grown up and he's a great father. The only reason i haven't let him see her is because i wanted us all to have a bit of time out.
i want to be with my boyfriend, but i want him to be able to get on with my daughter's father, otherwise,we can't make it work,it's not fair on my daughter to have the situation the way it was.
Honestly,sometimes it felt like i had three children instead of one.
My ex boyfriend has a girlfriend and we get on, so why can't he do the same?
If anyone has any suggestions on how i can help make the situation any easier so we can all just get on, i'd love the advice.
Thanks for listening.
Jess.
by the way,i never intended to write so much,sorry.


My 3 1/2 year old niece exhibits behavior of a spoiled child, but I'm not sure if it is because of her dysfunctional lifestyle and past.
Her parents got divorce when she was about a 1 1/2 old because her mother is mentally unstable. Her father is in the military and while he was away in Iraq, her mother was getting plans together to leave & find another military man, which did not include her daughter. Lyss, my niece, when with her mother would have this blank, dead stare on her face and did not act like a normal 6-8 month old.
Now her mother has supervised visitations every other weekend, which usually happen once a month maximum because she doesn't show up. Her mother has another daughter about 2 and when & if she has visitation Lyss only wants to see her half sister and doesn't care to see her mother at all.
Her father is now in the Guards and has to leave for a weeks at a time every now and then. When he is at work or at the Guards her grandma or "nana" watches her. Basically her nana is her mother, she has raised her since she was little and is the only stable female character in her life that has not abandoned her. When she sees her mother or her father goes away on duty she is exceptionally naughty.
On a regular basis she demands constant attention, when her Nana is on the phone she constantly berates her & screams for attention. When told to stop she crosses her arms, makes a face & says, "No, I want my Nana. You don't!" When told she needs to take a nap she will either run away screaming & crying or say, "I don't want to!" Running away from getting told to take a nap/bath/go to bed etc. has only been recent. When you tell her no or try to discipline her she runs away or ignores you. COMPLETELY ignores you, you can say her name 6 times or more and she will act like you don't exist. The big problem is she will only obey "Nana" and even then its a battle. She only listens to Nana, wants to be with Nana, anything to do with Nana. When other people discipline her she runs to Nana and tattles.
Her father is usually at work, or the military. His girlfriend likes Lyss depending on which week it is, but is very evasive at showing it. So she is used ot Nana's schedule & when she is with dad she has to try to get used to his schedule too.
She doesn't play around kids her own age, only my 1 1/2 year old daughter. When they are together, nothing good happens. Any toy my daughter touches gets instantly ripped out of her hands. If Lyss is playing with a bear and my daughter is playing with a doll she will rip the doll out of her hands & say she wants to play with the doll. I understand that is normal for her age, but it is intensified. If she doesn't get want she wants she freezes and shakes, like this huge ball of frustration she can't get out, then she screams and cries. Its scary. I try to tell her if my daughter wants what she is playing with to find her something else fun to play with so she forgets about it. Every 5 minutes they are screaming because either Lyss took a toy away or Hailee retaliated. Its come to the point where my daughter is getting so protective over anything when she plays with her. If Lyss walks up to my daughter, my daughter will scream & throw a tantrum in anticipation. Its come to the point where I don't want to bring my daughter over anymore, because anything Lyss does my daughter will do. Which is mostly naughty things. Sometimes when Lyss is being very naughty my daughter will stop and watch, then look at me like "is this ok?" She doesn't join in or anything, just stares in wonder.
I just don't know whether its her age, or she is spoiled, or if its because of her past & dysfunctional family life. Any suggestions, experience?
My niece is an only child, but we have a very big family with many, many children. My daughter is the youngest-discluding the one on the way.

Anyone who is a professional in this area would be greatly appreciated.


Me and my Fiance' have been engaged for almost 2 years now and we have the most beautiful little girl together, He's a good father and a good (husband to be) ... When his family doesn't get involved.
Okay when we first became a couple I was best friends with my fiance's best friend and my fiance's sister liked our friend and i guess she didn't like the fact the I was his friend
and she flat out told me she hated me . The other members of his family I was okay with for a while ,about 6 months into our relationship she came up to me and told me "wow your still with him huh?" and of course I was confused then she said she didn't like me because her and her family thought I was too pretty for him, which is stupid I honestly don't think I am. Then few months past we get engaged and
everything was fine until he went to visit his family one day and when he came home he acted like a complete ass. I didn't know what happened but he just started treating me so badly , so we separated for a while and he moved back in, and I became pregnant :) [ I know I'm not married and I was pregnant but I'm happy to have my little girl]
and everything was wonderful he treated me so differently, was sweet came to all the Dr. app.'s ,was there when I was in labor he really is such a sweet person when not around his family. anyway
after my daughter was born my family threw a baby shower because I didn't want to find out the sex. and I did invite his family but only one person came which was his cousin who is like 12, the mom dropped him off and no one else came which did kind of hurt but I know it hurt him a lot more. Here is where I get pissed...
my daughter not even a month old at the time was playing with him
his mother called and asked to speak with him and I told her he was getting ready to give her a bath and if she could hold on for like 10 seconds while I go get him, she said no that she'll call back and I said okay, then she said that she misses him living with her and that he would be much better off and happier if he wasn't with me or MY daughter. I hung up and then a few days later his sister calls and asked to speak with him and I said no[ i had the phone on speaker so he could hear the convo.] then she calls me a bitch and said ...and I quote... '' you and your damn daughter ruined his life, he's not even happy with you'' I went off and said things I don't think yahoo will allow me to say and he told me he was sorry for his sister and his whole family and swore he was happy and he loved me then he went to go talk to his sister they got into a argument and his mom came out crying and then he felt bad. he didn't talk to them for a few months until they called and he said he wants to be on good terms with them I said fine but I don't want to be around them after saying that to me. They never apologized for saying it and when he brought it up his mother said no we never said that and he told them that he heard them say it and his sister and mother got quite and told us to get out of their house (BTW he has 2 sisters and the one I'm talking about is the oldest) and basically to sum it up without me ranting, it's been like that ever since. my daughter in now 10months old and my fiance is the sweet, loving, affectionate person I've always wished for, then as soon as he gets into contact with them he acts like an ass. his older sister and mother always call up crying or saying things to make him fell bad so he apologizes to them and for the past 4 months whenever they say anything about me or my daughter he doesn't defend us anymore. he used to like every time they said something but i don't know why it stopped. I'm just so frustrated I don't know what to do and now his dad and little sister hate me and I know for a fact I've never said anything bad to them or disrespected them in anyway I hate this . They don't even call our daughter by her name, they just say "oh your kid" how do I get him to defend me and our daughter again? everything in our relationship is fine. good relationship, good sex life, i take care of the home and our daughter and work part time, he works full time, everything is fine except when his family gets involved.. I really hate thinking about this but part of me kind of does want him to cut ties with his family that's where most of our problems come from and I don't know I'm just so upset, has anyone been in this situation? or going through it?
I know the whole thing about mother-in laws and daughter-in laws don't get along is NOT true my sister-in law and mom get along perfectly and she's a sweetie my whole family loves her.....could it be because I'm white? he is Hispanic. but i know a lot of couples with the guy being Hispanic and the wife being white and they get along w/ the family fine.
I know I haven't done anything to them..until they said my daughter f***up his life then yes I became a bitch.I think any person who was told that would become a bitch/ass.
what should I do?


My fiance has a very rebelious stubborn 7 year old daughter. In public and at relatives homes she seems to be the most well-mannored child. This is an example of a day:

6:30 am-my fiance has a cdl and does logging and leaves the house around this time. The night before nobody got to sleep til 2:30 (including the child) b/c of constant excuses of her being thirsty, then hearing the "monster" outside then she came and slept in our room.
6:45am-the neighbor knocks on my door letting me know his daughter was close by the road. (I ask her why she did this and didn't wake me up to go out side and she says she missed her daddy and was waiting for him to come home)
7:30 am-scrambled eggs, buiscuits, and sasage are served and she takes two bites out of the eggs and says she doesn't like buiscuits or the sausage. I reply by saying well there are plenty of eggs and eat them. (I understand that some brands of sausage taste different so I let it "slide") She still doesn't eat any more.
8 am- while im washing dishes she says shes hungry so I offer oatmeal and she says no I try to give-in and say "you can put lots of butter and sugar in it" and she still says no. She wants "froot loops" I reply by saying we "just" had breakfast and you let it go to waste. I finally let her have dry cereal.
Ok just about every meal goes like this. Even when I play waitress and ask for her "order" she refuses to eat.
we also have an ordeal about bath-time. She will not let me supervise her take a bath (she will let her father) I don't understand me being a female should make it more comftorable. When I go in the bathroom after she's done the bar of soap isn't even wet and washing hair is a nightmare. she has a fear that water burns just like soap. We use BABY SHAMPOO but it still burns. She will put shampoo in her hair but will not go through her hair withi it. She will throw a fit and scream and splash water on me if I try to help her.
I also understand that children need attention but she believes she should be center of attention ALL the time. Especially after bed she will knock on the bedroom door constantly durring the night begging to sleep in our bedroom. She will be 8 next month. She will purposely wet the bed so she can sleep on our floor. We watch sometimes 2 kiddie movies a day with her and eat meals (Or her rather gathering) together and go out side 1 hour day unless raining or really hot to play. So I would say she's getting plenty or healthy attention and occupied with stuff for her age. I might would say this is resentment of me but her father and I have been a couple for 2 years now and it seems like she would have gotten used to the fact by now.
Her father gives in just as worse as I do. Like she won't eat supper but he'll let her eat lot of dessert. What are some good punishments and an answer to these many problems?


the love of my life and i are planning on spending the rest of our lives together...we have been living together along with her 13 year old girl for 9 months...i have been very wary of trying to step in too quick and try to "be her father"...i treat the girl very well and i truly love her...her defiant attitude and lack of respect to her mother and me is putting me over the edge...here are some of the things our daughter has done since i have been here...for the past 2 marking periods she has failed half of her classes (we got her a tutor, but she is still failing because she doesn't do her homework)...she sent an email to her teachers pretending to be her mother asking that they "take it easy" on her and let her do extra credit to make up her grades...she had a secret myspace page that showed the bad side of her...it was full of curse words and pics of her smoking pot...(we took it down)...is doing drugs...she made over 3,500 text messages in one month...she ran up over $250 dollars worth of phone downloads on her cell phone...we have told her not to not make calls after 10 pm, but she continues to make calls as late as 2:30 a.m...she talked us into letting her go to a "christian" rock concert (i know we should have checked), but it ended up being thrash metal called "bled fest"...then she comes home from it wearing a t-shirt that says, "i am the ****!" (her mom doesn't even let her swear and this is what she comes home with?)...we tell her to turn her tv off in her room by 9:30 pm on school nights and she refuses to follow that simple rule along with many other simple rules that a 5 year old could comprehend and follow...she completely defies anything i ask her to do..ex.-she got home one day and i wanted her to help me clean the house (her mother asked me to have her do some things)...i gave her simple things like vaccuum, pick up her room, and clean one bathroom...i had just cleaned the kitchen and asked her not to make a mess if she wanted a snack before she started...of course she made a mess and left crumbs, wrappers etc...i shrugged it off and cleaned up after her like i always do...i told her to get started because we had to get this done right away...i went to take out the trash...i came back in and she was in the bathroom...well, i asked through the door how she was doing, and she tells me she is taking a bath...wow...could she be anymore clear that she has no respect for me?...i could go on and on but can you get the point?...i understand that i am the new guy and she is testing her boundaries with me...i have been leery and haven't wanted to be a "hard ***"...i really don't want to be a parent like that, but i also don't want to be an adult that a kid walks all over on...her mom is very loving, but does not like disciplining her...her idea of discipline is saying, "oh, this is just normal behavior!," and then giving her money to go shopping...i really do not think i can take this anymore...i am afraid of the girl becoming worse if we let this go on...is this a lost cause?...should i move on?...what is proper punishment for this girl?...how can i get her to respect us?...should i marry the love of my life if our "parenting" attitudes are so different? sorry if this is long, i appreciate any help i can get on this...thank you!...


I just want to be CLEAR, fair and... not called "Crazy Town" anymore as she likes to do.

Due to personal family tragedy that has started Last June on Father's Day eve, I have been struggling a little bit (not a horrible amount) financially. We are in Divorce and Child Custody fisticuffs I mean court in 2 states.

So my Sister Dear invited me to temporarily pay less rent and move into her new 4 bedroom 3 bath full unfinished basement with 2 car attached garage in a Neighborhood much better than were I had to move to after said Father's Day Crazy Town-ish stuff, beyond my control.

So I thought, "not a good idea," with us living together. It didn't work in the past. I chose my battles WISELY. She insisted I was "blocking blessings."

I'm done blocking verbal JUDO JABS which come whenever I am in that beautiful home. I have 2 kids, so does she. I have no more male energy rolling with me... just the 3 girls, my daughters and I. Occassionally my nieces nephew and a friend or 2 ride with me and my kids. We GO constantly to the park, beach, library, church and all that fun stuff. I can't fight with my sister. She's expecting.

What to do? She said to come but it is miserable when the 2 of us fight?
HELP!?

btw... I know it was long. der a duh.


My boyfriend and I of 3 years have a 1 year old together. Ive lived on my own with my 2 other kids since I was 18. I am not on any state aid I work to support my kids.. I have a 4 bedroom plenty of room for all 3 kids. Well we separated and he threw this in my face... The face I was not raised with a mom or a dad. My mother left me after I was born so I was in foster care. He said because I didn't grow up with a family.. my idea of a family is different from a normal family... Idk what he ment I would 8+ hrs a day I come home clean give the kids a bath make dinner play with my kids and by that time its 10 so good night. He comes from a dad who was a doctor a mother who had a ton of degrees and soo on.. use to own her own cooking show or what ever. He left me sunday and wants to keep my 1 year old daughter 50 50 I live an hour away. Shes in daycare where we live.. what do you think is going to happen do u think if he tells the judge this hes gonna win I don't mind him being a dad but come on I cant be with out her that long I don't have anyone here where I live away from family and friends. I have a great job and Im only 24. This is hard cause my kids are all I have and if she goes I don't want my other kids not to fill wanted cause they are from a different dad and my kids father walked out so I have full custody.
I wouldnt mind sharing her 50/50 if he lived closer. Hes an arab and can run at any time. Im not cold hearted I do want him in her life because I know that would be shelfish of me to my daughters needs. Hes a very pushy man he bullied me throughout my whole relationship Im just doing this to protect our daughter I know what its like not having either parents... So trust me I would never want that for my children. I just know that he can run with her and then I wont get her back.


We have been together for for two years and have a daughter together. We have lived together the whole time. He has never once bought anything thing in our house ie: food, cleaning supplies, bath stuff etc. Nor anything for our daughter except a pack of diapers twice. I have paid for everything from things that we need to live to vacations to clothes for both of us. Now that im not making as much money as I used to we just do without unless I nag so much that he gets mad and will go get the bare minimum. I love him and hes a good father but I feel like im just a sugar momma house maid. Please help!
Hes had a job the whole time we have been together and i have told him how i feel. He says he would rather spend his money on his truck and four wheeler. Mydaughter goes to daycare everyday and he doesnt clean the house


the love of my life and i are planning on spending the rest of our lives together...we have been living together along with her 13 year old girl for 9 months...i have been very wary of trying to step in too quick and try to "be her father"...i treat the girl very well and i truly love her...her defiant attitude and lack of respect to her mother and me is putting me over the edge...here are things our daughter has done since i have been here...for the past 2 marking periods she has failed half of her classes...she sent an email to her teachers pretending to be her mother asking that they "take it easy" on her and let her do extra credit to make up her grades...she made over 3,500 text messages in one month...she ran up over $250 dollars worth of phone downloads on her cell phone...she talked us into going to a "christian" rock concert (i know we should have checked), but it ended up being thrash metal called "bled fest"...then she comes home from it wearing a t-shirt that says, "i am the ****!" (her mom doesn't even let her swear and this is what she comes home with?)...we tell her to turn her tv off in her room by 9:30 pm on school nights and she refuses to follow that simple rule along with many other simple rules that a 5 year old could comprehend and follow...she completely defies anything i ask her to do..ex.-she got home one day and i wanted her to help me clean the house...gave her simple things like vaccuum, pick up her room, and clean one bathroom...i had just cleaned the kitchen and asked her not to make a mess if she wanted a snack before she started...of course she made a mess and left crumbs, wrappers etc...i shrugged it off and cleaned up after her...i told her to get started because we had to get this done right away...i went to take out the trash...i came back in and she was in the bathroom...well, i asked through the door how she was doing, and she tells me she is taking a bath...i could go on an on but can you get the point?...i understand that i am the new guy and she is testing her boundries with me...i have been leery and haven't wanted to be a "hard ***"...i really don't want to be a parent like that, but i also don't want to be an adult that a kid walks all over on...her mom is very loving, but does not like disceplining her...i really do not think i can take this anymore...i am afraid of the girl becoming worse if we let this go on...is this a lost cause?...should i move on?...what is proper punshment for this girl?...how can i get her to respect us?...sorry if this is long, i appreciate any help i can get on this...thank you!...


ok me and bf have been living together for about 8 months we both have kids and my son father really accepts the fact that i moved on and have a family now. Now my bf baby's momma is still after my bf she calls leaving messages saying i love u in stuff, they recently had a doc app for their daughter they went together and i was ok they met up she got droppedd off and he met with her then after aptt he drove them home i found out through text so i called he would answer then he finallyy did and all he could say to my questions was huh uhh ok yea huh uhh. :( i feel i like he's hidingg something not only that but one night he got a text i asked who it was and he said my x i was like oh wat she say. he acted a scared look in his eyes he kept saying nothing then ran off to bath room and deleted it im confused i want to believe nothing is going on but i dont want to look like a dumb*** either.
he said the only reason he deleted was to avoid from me getting mad and it didn't say anything just when can they meet up to talk about their daughter.
also im not aloud togo with my bf to pick his daughter or even say anything when there on the phone.

i really feel angry inside please help,
also a big reason he says things are like this is because he is scared that she might get mad at him or flip out and take his daughter away from him. What you think?


Hey! Man where do I begin?! Well to start I have a 4 year old. Last year her father and I got divorced which was pretty rough. We had split custody so he would get her certain days of the week and I would have certain days and so fourth and so on...
I began to grow concerned when she would come over and her private area would be all red and agitated, it had never been an issue when we were all living together. She always had her hands in her pants, and she always complained that it itched down there or it hurt. I would usually just bath her and use diaper rash ointment and by the time it was time for her to leave it would be cleared up. It got so bad though that we got into a few arguments...I mean really it pissed me off because she would only be with him for 4 days and she would come back looking like she had some month old rash. When I would ask him about it he would always act surprised like he had no idea she had the rash! When I asked him if the women at her daycare had noticed of course, they never had...he was usually the one taking her to daycare because the daycare is on an Airforce base where he works. Our daughter was potty training at the time and I know that at those stages if they don't wipe properly it can cause rashes...so I tried to work with her dad and teach him how to care for her down there. Despite all of that though it still continued until I started to keep her longer and even threatend to not let her go at all if he wasn't capable of proper hygiene techniques!
But then I started to notice that she was doing strange things...like trying to tongue kiss me or my oldest son, or trying to pull her brother's pants down..boxers and all, while yelling at him that he was her "boyfriend". I talked to her father about it and he would say that she watches too much television.
I ended up leavng the state where I was staying because I lost my job and found another out of state. So in August I moved and left my daughter there with her dad because the joint custody didn't allow me to taker her with me at that time. I just recently got my daughter this weekend. So I'm hanging out with her and ex-husband at their house...and my daughter pretends to whisper in her dad's ear playfully, but of course I can hear her....she says..." We're going to get naked and we're going to kiss". The pit of my stomach just dropped. I asked here what she said and she repeated it aloud but she didn't seem to think it was as funny when she was telling it to me...her dad gave me this confused but kind of embarressed look before telling her that she was acting inappropriately.I don't want to think it's happening, but is it posible that my ex- husband is molesting our little girl?
My daughter is with me now and she will be with me for at least another 4 months in the state where I am staying. I have already made a doctor's appointment this week for her. I just want to know what everyone else thinks to make sure that I am not overreacting. Thanks everyone.


Okay i have posted before about him MANY times until I got tired of airing my dirty laundry here, lol, but I am abck to it again bc I just cant take it anymore. To make a long story short, I have been with my bf for 4 yrs now. We have an 8-month-old baby girl together, the pregnancy like most was unplanned.Then, the baby was born. He helped out on his first few days off, but then eventually it landed on me. He had some anxiety problems and difficulties adjusting to fatherhood and work, which he saw a therapist for, whom he refuses to see anymore, so I began to take on all the responsibility of caring for her while he worked.

Now we both agreed before she was born even that I would stay at home with her the 1st year, while he worked. Which means I have NO MONEY COMING IN. Yet, my bf doesnt give me any money. sometimes we run out of groceries, and he wont give me money to buy them, unless it's something essential for her like diapers or formula. For example, all we have left is totrtillas, cheese, coke, and avocados. That's it, literally! Bc I got my tax money back, I could actually buy some of my own food---but it just makes me mad I have to, when thats his responsibility, bc he works. This has been like this for 8 mons now. Him not keeping up with his responsibilities.
He has rarely bathed our daughter, rarely changed her diaper. His excuse? He works, and "I dont" (his words, not mine). ,But yet he has 3 days off, and those 3 days he usually spends on the computer, working on his website as a hobby instead of being with us. His attitude is 'I'm here, so i can take care of her". We go to the park altogether about once every 2 weeks, but never a big fun outing.
He says finally this weekend he may want to go on a big outing, but he has a track record of saying he wants to do something then change his mind
His excuse for not wanting to go big outings with us is "shes too little". I could understand if she was a newborn, but shes 8 mons! It disturbs me how he thinks that we should keep her "shut up" inside all day bc shes a baby, other than going to the park or the occasional restaurant.

So basically, he expects me to 'scrounge around" and make do with what food we have here. Luckily as I said already, I have money in my account finally from my tax break. But I dont see why it has to resort to me buying groceries when he has a job that pays and I dont? And so I kinda told him how i felt about that, and he said "too bad". He goes to the grocery store when HE feels like going. I had to buy our daughter's rice cereal and baby food (and car seat and stroller, the cars eat he's paying me back for when he gets his tax money back!) with my tax break bc he hadn't gone to the grocery store and stocked up on babyfood either. other ppl say I'm enabling him, but what am I supposed to do? Not have baby food around bc I want to protest, thus making my daughter have to pay the price? He wont give me the money to go grocery stopping bc he thinks I'll spend too much. Bc I prefer to buy Pampers instead of generic cheap rough diapers. B/c I like to have a variety of food and drink. Then he also harps on me about "dragging baby around". He says when I take her out on these errands, I am dragging her around---yet am i supposed to just sit here and have nothing to eat besides whatever scraps are in the house,? He knows it's hard on me to go to the grocery store with a baby, yet he leaves me no choice, though he discourages me from doing it. And sadly, it's with my tax break money this time or with money i borrowed from my mother----pathetic I know. and he makes good money if you ask me---roughly 40,000 a year. This past month he's been putting all his money in stocks.
And before anyone gets on me about getting a job, yes I know. It's just we had an AGREEMENT that while he worked, for the first year I'd take care of the baby.

Basically I feel like I am all on my own except he pays rent, and buys her formula diapers and baby wipes and most the time jarred baby food, but that's it. Taking her to the park or walks, I do. Even when he's off, I usually go alone bc he doesn't want to. Basically I feel like I do everything alone anyway and I cant rely on him for much, so why even stay with him? Does anyone have a similar situation? What did you do? What do you think I should do?
He knwos how I feel, I've made it clear. I've been ncie and mature about it.
He's been acting nicer lately, then last night he had a setback. He yelled at me in front of the baby bc I asked what he had for lunch (since I was curious bc he acts like I should eats scraps, but what about him?) He apologized, and then seemed like he was trying to make up for it, bc he said he'd like to take us somewhere all 3 of us fun this weekend, like to a dolphin show or train ride in wine country.
he is a cable guy, he installs cable and works 10-12 hrs shifts sometimes. But he has 3 days off.


we get along well.A� She lives with her mother full time and every other weekend her father and I get her.A� The issue that I am having is that she is allowed to do what ever she wants at her mom's home and is never told 'no'. so when she comes to our home she has that same mind set. When i cook meals, we always have to make her something else b/c she wont eat it, when she does eat its not very much and then she wants candy or ice cream,A� she always has to have cartoons on so for the 2 days we have her I am forced to watch cartoons or go in the other room away from everyone.A� The thing is we have a 1 yr old daughter together and I dont want my child raised like that.A� she eats all her food (which is always more then her sister...very sad) she has her shows she gets in the morning but if something is on that we want to watch we do.A� My husband allows this to happen, the eating the candy, cartoons, she doesnt have a bed time she is allowed to play her game boy ALL the time ( she is 7 has major issues reading, cant tie her shoes, or give herself a bath)A� I have talked to my husband about these issues b/c I dont find it fair to my child that her sister is allowed to get away with all that stuff when she cant b/c I dont want her raised that way and he tells me that until I am only allowed to see my child 4 days a month I wouldnt understand how hard it would be to tell her NO.A� PLEASE HELP!!!! any input would be greatly helpful


I am 27 years old and I am 8 months pregnant. My bf and I are no longer together and I will be a single mother. Once my daughter is born I am going to be going through the process of trying to get Sole Physical Custody and my ex will just have visitation. My ex has threatened me that if I chose not to do Joint Custody that he would fight me in the courts. After almost 3 years with my ex I finally got enough courage to leave him. My ex was verbally and physically abusive to me before my pregnancy and part of my pregnancy when I was with him. He has threatened harm on my father and threatened to vandalize my car. I believe he has some mental health issues. He has been dealing with depression on and off sense high school. I have caught him causing harm to himself "Self Mutilation, cutting of his forearm". He has threatened that he will commit suicide by shooting himself. He is a manipulator and a pathological liar. I do not want child support from him and all around do not want him to be around our daughter and I. I live on my own in a 2 bed/2 bath home and am very financially and mentally stable. He moved back in with his mother & step father and is not employed. What are my chances of winning Sole Custody of our daughter and he would have supervised visitation until I fill he is safe.
I don't have any police reports on him. Due to every time I tried to call my parents for help or the cops he would chase me down rip the phone out of my hand or lock me in the bedroom with him. Pretty much I was a prisoner. He was to strong. I know about a month after I left him his mother had to call the cops on him because he assaulted her. But she chose not to press any charges against him.


My daughter is about 15 months old. I do treat her a bit differently than I treated my son around this age. She and I get baths together, even bubble baths from time to time. Even before she was a year old I'd slip her bits and pieces of my food, like ice cream. Even let her suck a small bit of cotton candy off my finger once. She also learned sticking her tongue out from me. Her father says I spoil her. (From the man who, at the tiniest of whimpers at night even now, carries her to our bed and let's her sleep on his chest.)


Heya.
I have been with my boyfriend now for 5 years, i got with him when i was just 17, and he was 23. We have a daughter together of 17 months, and i couldnt ask for a better partner and father.
Recentley he has been quite snappy with me though, simple things like bathing our daughter he is like "you do it, im not in the mood" ordereing me about, our daughter goes to nursery 3 times a week and the rest of the times i have her at home. So my boyfriend baths her (thats there time together in the week as he works) Its just something they have done since she was born. But recentley he doesnt want to do it. For valentines i pulled out all the stops, and he was just totally moody with me. He is going to the pub with his mates more often, which i do not mind, but he gets paraletic, and then comes home starting an argument :/. I just keep ignoring him, hoping it will get better, but its been like this since christmas :/


Getting Divorce need advice?
Single father needs advice?
I am new to this. So I have 6 daughters 2 sons. I have full custody of them. There mom and I right now are separated it has been over a year now. She has a little angry issue and she works all kinds of hours she is a detective and a lawyer.
We are not divorce yet. I still love her. But i have to think about the kids.
My 6,8,12 year old daughters are daddy's girls, i think my 4 year old will be one.
they don't see there mom that much. She get supervise visits. She is living at the police station. She has no where else to go. My 12,6,8 year olds wont to anything without me near them. I have taken them to someone to talk to. but that did not help

My daughters are 2 years old, 4 years old, 6 years old, 8 years old, 12 years old, 14 years old,

My sons are 16 years old and 10 years old.

I am ok with letting my daughters sleep with me when they need to.
i am ok with getting them cleaned and dressed. when they want me to. I am trying to keep them happy.

My question are.
1. Is it ok for my 12,8,6 year olds to sleep in my bed?
2. Is it ok for me to help my 12,8,6 years old take a bath?
3. Is it ok for me to help get them dress?
4 is it ok for me to put makeup on my 2,4,6,8,12 year olds? Lipgloss and nail polish.
5. How can i get my 14 year old daughter to understand that It is not my fault that there mom left?
I will do anything to keep my kids happy? Not getting back together with there mom
6 how can i get my wife to sign the divorce papers

My questions 1-3 I think they just want some one on one time with me. I really do not know.

They always want to be with me.


Getting Divorce need advice?
Single father needs advice?
I am new to this. So I have 6 daughters 2 sons. I have full custody of them. There mom and I right now are separated it has been over a year now. She has a little angry issue and she works all kinds of hours she is a detective and a lawyer.
We are not divorce yet. I still love her. But i have to think about the kids.
My 6,8,12 year old daughters are daddy's girls, i think my 4 year old will be one.

My daughters are 2 years old, 4 years old, 6 years old, 8 years old, 12 years old, 14 years old,

My sons are 16 years old and 10 years old.

Since I am a single dad of 8. I have many question.
1.Is it ok for my 12, 8, and 6 year old girls to sleep in my bed?
2.My 12 year old and 8 year old and 6 year old want me to help them wash there hair when they take a bath. Is that ok?
3.Is it ok for me to dress my 12 year ,8 year, 6 year olds get dress they always want me to help them. Is it ok?
4.Is it ok for me to put makeup on my 2,4,6,8,12 year olds?
5.How can i get my 14 year old daughter to understand that It is not my fault that there mom left?

I am ok with letting my daughters sleep with me when they need to.
i am ok with getting them cleaned and dressed. I am trying to keep them happy.

My question are.
1. Is it ok for my 12,8,6 year olds to sleep in my bed?
2. Is it ok for me to help my 12,8,6 years old take a bath?
3. Is it ok for me to help get them dress?
4 is it ok for me to put makeup on my 2,4,6,8,12 year olds?
5. How can i get my 14 year old daughter to understand that It is not my fault that there mom left?
I will do anything to keep my kids happy? Not getting back together with there mom
6 how can i get my wife to sign the divorce papers?
they don't see there mom that much. She get supervise visits. She is living at the police station


Single father needs advice?
I am new to this. So I have 6 daughters 2 sons. I have full custody of them. There mom and I right now are separated it has been over a year now. She has a little angry issue and she works all kinds of hours she is a detective and a lawyer.
We are not divorce yet. I still love her. But i have to think about the kids.
My 6,8,12 year old daughters are daddy's girls, i think my 4 year old will be one.

My daughters are 2 years old, 4 years old, 6 years old, 8 years old, 12 years old, 14 years old,

My sons are 16 years old and 10 years old.

Since I am a single dad of 8. I have many question.
1.Is it ok for my 12, 8, and 6 year old girls to sleep in my bed?
2.My 12 year old and 8 year old and 6 year old want me to help them wash there hair when they take a bath. Is that ok?
3.Is it ok for me to dress my 12 year ,8 year, 6 year olds get dress they always want me to help them. Is it ok?
4.Is it ok for me to put makeup on my 2,4,6,8,12 year olds?
5.How can i get my 14 year old daughter to understand that It is not my fault that there mom left?

I am ok with letting my daughters sleep with me when they need to.
i am ok with getting them cleaned and dressed. I am trying to keep them happy.

My question are.
1. Is it ok for my 12,8,6 year olds to sleep in my bed?
2. Is it ok for me to help my 12,8,6 years old take a bath?
3. Is it ok for me to help get them dress?
4 is it ok for me to put makeup on my 2,4,6,8,12 year olds?
5. How can i get my 14 year old daughter to understand that It is not my fault that there mom left?
I will do anything to keep my kids happy? Not getting back together with there mom
6 how can i get my wife to sign the divorce papers
they don't see there mom that much. She get supervise visits. She is living at the police station
my 12,6,8 year olds want to anything without me near them. I have taken them to someone to talk to. but that did not help


I am new to this. So I have 6 daughters 2 sons. I have full custody of them. There mom and I right now are separated it has been over a year now. She has a little angry issue and she works all kinds of hours she is a detective and a lawyer.
We are not divorce yet. I still love her. But i have to think about the kids.
My 6,8,12 year old daughters are daddy's girls, i think my 4 year old will be one.

My daughters are 2 years old, 4 years old, 6 years old, 8 years old, 12 years old, 14 years old,

My sons are 16 years old and 10 years old.

Since I am a single dad of 8. I have many question.
1.Is it ok for my 12, 8, and 6 year old girls to sleep in my bed?
2.My 12 year old and 8 year old and 6 year old want me to help them wash there hair when they take a bath. Is that ok?
3.Is it ok for me to dress my 12 year ,8 year, 6 year olds get dress they always want me to help them. Is it ok?
4.Is it ok for me to put makeup on my 2,4,6,8,12 year olds?
5.How can i get my 14 year old daughter to understand that It is not my fault that there mom left?

I am ok with letting my daughters sleep with me when they need to.
i am ok with getting them cleaned and dressed. I am trying to keep them happy.

My question are.
1. Is it ok for my 12,8,6 year olds to sleep in my bed?
2. Is it ok for me to help my 12,8,6 years old take a bath?
3. Is it ok for me to help get them dress?
4 is it ok for me to put makeup on my 2,4,6,8,12 year olds?
5. How can i get my 14 year old daughter to understand that It is not my fault that there mom left?
I will do anything to keep my kids happy? Not getting back together with there mom
they don't see there mom that much. She get supervise visits. She is living at the police station


I am currently 20 weeks pregnant with my second child. The father and i are in not in a relationship anymore (it ended due to domestic violence while i was pregnant). Anyway, we have a 1 year-old son together and he has his father's last name. Now i'm wondering if whether or not i should give my unborn daughter her father's last name because he is denying her. His exact words were "I'm not responsible of that child until you give birth"(he knows this is his child). I took it as him denying the child because to me, in order to be a father you need to step up and take responsibility no matter the situation whether the child is already alive or unborn. And on top of that next week (2/17) im due in court because he filed a custody petition to take my son away from me simply because he wants to. He doesn't give me any money to buy his son's food, laundry detergent, bath soap...basically all he gets him is diapers and wipes and he's bought him clothes because i had to tell him,i shouldn't have to tell him what his son needs, it's all common sense. another question is, is there any law in new york state stating that I HAVE to give my unborn daughter his last name and is there any law saying that he can change the last name if he wants to?
PLEASE, I would really appreciate it if someone answers me, i really need help. Thank you


My niece who is 22 recently moved into an apartment I have in the basement of my home. I have a 7 year old daughter and a 10 year old step-son in the house also. My niece who has an 18 month old and is 3 mos pregnant just found out she is HIV positive. My question is: are me and my kids at risk? Should I be upset if she does not tell me? She does not know that I know and I think that she should inform me, for the well-being of my family. Also, if my daughter takes a bath in the same tub that she does, can my daughter get this?

Help me with some info and advise please, I dont know what to do and I am extremely worried and just need help on how to handle this situation. Also- she is $350 behind on rent and I can't afford to support this girl and I dont know what to do especially since she was just diagnosed with this. Before we found this out, I was going to evict her and now I don't know what to do- I am at a point financially that I am behind on bills b/c she hasnt been paying. PLEASE HELP

I guess my real question is: are my kids or myself or my husband in danger because of this? She was a stripper/ prostitute about 6 mos. ago. I dont want to risk shortening my kids' life because of a mistake SHE made. I also dont want to throw her out the day after she finds all of this out. She does not respect my household rules (eating only at the kitchen table, cleaning up after your self, etc.) Just this morning, I had to take 2 30 GALLON trash bags full of $hitty diapers out to the street to have the trash man pick them up- I am at my wit's end, I work full time, she sits at home ALL DAY and can't even help clean up after herself. When they moved in, my household at the time was 4 people, now it is 7 almost 8 and I can't possibly support and clean after all these people and hold my full time job AND be a mother..... please help me!

I dont want to evict her, but I can't support her and her child and her fiancee and this child on the way. It has come to a point that it is affecting my kids because I no longer have the money to do activities with them and I am really struggling to make ends meet. Please don't judge me in this situation, I was trying to help them out but it has come to a point that it is hurting me and my kids. I personally dont think that it is fair to tell my kids "no, we can't do the things together that we used to do because I dont have the money" when the reality of it is that if they were paying their rent like they are supposed to, I would be able to do that still.

And yes, her father should take care of her but she has screwed everyone over so much in the past (including me) that they dont want to help her out anymore.

Last time I let her stay with me, she was working at a strip club and I was taking care of her son. He was so sick once that he couldnt even breathe due to the congestion in his chest and she didn't even come home after work. I had to find a sitter at 6am just so that I could go to work. She showed up 3 days later.
thanks so much for the two that answered. I am really freaked out bc someone in my house DID use my razor about a month ago (I know this bc I shave EVERYDAY and the razor had long hairs in it) I threw it away immediately bc I think that using someone else's personal hygiene products is gross and I have had the same partner for 7 years and I have been tested myself for ALL std's 18 months ago and so did my husband. So, I am really worried. They haven't gotten the test back for her 18 month old yet, so we don't know about him. I just feel really awful but I can't continue being broke but I care about her son and I dont want him put in a situation where he is at risk and I cant take care of him myself or else I would offer. I am in tears over all of this and I can't even do my job at work right now cause I'm so torn.

I guess no good deed goes unpunished
First, I want to say thanks for all who have answered so far. I have talked to her about the household chores, etc. When this girl came to live with us, she didnt even know how to put detergent in the dishwasher and she put a metal bowl in the microwave. Her fiancee DOES work, but she does not they are just 3 weeks behind on rent right now. As far as the HIV, I would not throw her out because of that. If I was in a position too keep her 18 month old for her, I would but I just can't financially do that. I have tried several times to sit down and talk with her and she basically twists my words to her father and then her father has called me the past 3 days cussing me out. I dont live a dramatic life and I am not about to start now. My kids don't deserve to live in a household with a bunch of drama like what her father and her have put me through this week. I have been called names, accused of things that are totally fabricated and I just am through with the whole situation.


My children are 7 (girl) and 5 (boy). They live with me full time and visit their father and step mother almost every other weekend. They are both very self sufficient. At home they bathe, dress and do all of their 'washroom' business by themselves- and they do it well!
I stopped them bathing together about 2 1/2 years ago when my daughter started washing herself because they were getting bigger and older and I figured she would take cleaning herself more seriously if her little brother wasn't in the tub with her.
About a year after that they mentioned that they still bathed together at dad's house and that step mom still washed them. I told my ex-husband that girl could do it herself and that boy was learning how to bathe himself. I explained that it was important for them be independent in this area (unless something happens ie: soap in eyes, tree sap in hair etc..), and that they were getting too old be in the tub together since they are the opposite sex. He agreed and that was that.
I have just learned that my daughter showers with step mom while they are there. She will be 8 in a few months and since there is no reason for this I am very uncomfortable with it. I mentioned it to dad and he said he sees nothing wrong with it. Am I right to think this is odd? We are pretty open about 'nakedness' at home, I want them to be comfortable with the human body etc.. but I think this is crossing the line.
I would like to say to 'Forlorn Hope-only 5 suspensions' that it is not right- it is not her child to make these decisions about. And it is my job as her mother to make sure she is protected (even though I suspect nothing 'abusive' going on) and I just don't feel that this is appropriate.
And thank you to everyone else for the support! It is hard to have an issue like this without coming across as a meddling ***** which is not the case. I let a lot slide when it comes to weekends at dad's (bed times, meal choices etc..) but I feel very strongly that this isn't right.
Just for anyone who might ever come across the same situation; I made an anonymous inquiry with CAS just to make sure I had some grounds for stirring the pot on this issue and they fully agree. I was told that by the age of 7 it would be considered border line inappropriate for a biological parent to be doing this and therefore very inappropriate for someone else.
They used the example of a girl with long hair needing help to rinse out shampoo as being okay for a trusted adult (such as step parent) to come in the room and assist but no further than that.
So thanks again for everyone's responses.


I saw a movie on one of the comcast movie channels at the end of November 2006 and I can't figure out what it was called! It looked like it was set in the late 70s (?) or in the 80s. It was about a possessed house.

From what I saw, it started with a woman in her living room and she heard the bath running upstairs and no one was upstairs. Another scene I remember is the family getting ready for one of the daughter's first communion and they family is singing a song together (a song like This little light of mine, something like that) and the chandelier starts to shake or something. Later on, the mother goes to the church to ask the priest for an exorcism, and the priest refuses. I clearly remember the mother saying, "But father, we're good Catholics!" (which I thought was ironic because she was smoking)

Towards the end of the movie, the family is circled together around the coffee table in the living room praying the rosary and the possession stops all of a sudden.

This is all I remember from this movie, and I have no idea how to look for it! If anyone has any ideas, I'd love to hear them!!! Thank you!

It was NOT The Exorcist or The Exorcism of Emily Rose, for sure. It was probably a not too well known movie. It was not The Amityville Horror, either.
It's The Haunted! THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!


I saw a movie on one of the comcast movie channels at the end of November 2006 and I can't figure out what it was called! It looked like it was set in the late 70s (?) or in the 80s. It was about a possessed house.

From what I saw, it started with a woman in her living room and she heard the bath running upstairs and no one was upstairs. Another scene I remember is the family getting ready for one of the daughter's first communion and they family is singing a song together (a song like This little light of mine, something like that) and the chandelier starts to shake or something. Later on, the mother goes to the church to ask the priest for an exorcism, and the priest refuses. I clearly remember the mother saying, "But father, we're good Catholics!" (which I thought was ironic because she was smoking)

Towards the end of the movie, the family is circled together around the coffee table in the living room praying the rosary and the possession stops all of a sudden.

This is all I remember from this movie, and I have no idea how to look for it! If anyone has any ideas, I'd love to hear them!!! Thank you!
It wasn't The Exorcist or The Exorcism of Emily Rose...I've seen both of those and it wasn't either. This movie probably wasn't a big movie, or all too well known.


Sorry for any spelling errors, my MS Word isn't working, and Word Pad is useless. Thank you for any comments, not asking for sympathy, just critique. Thank you. This is for slam or spoken word poetry, so excuse the length.

I am not a child of divorce.
I am a child of broken love,
Broken hearts,
And broken lives.
I am not a child of divorce.
Divorce was simply the ultimate
End.
And sometimes, I think,
Divorce would have been easier.
My heart was broken, at the age
Of thirteen.
She left him on Valentines Day
And my grandfather had died
Just weeks before.
I am not a child of divorce.
Before St. Valentine
Splintered my hope in to
Glass shards,
I was apart of a dinner table
Set for four.
And even then, we never said
Grace.
I was apart of a family,
Dysfunctional as it was,
It was mine.
I remember bottle feeding my new brother
In the hospital,
The whole memory seems to be
Bathed in yellow,
Like an old photograph..
I was allowed to paint my window sill,
Blue,
Like my eyes
Like they sky I prayed to.
Like the plastic swimming pool
In the backyard.
I had a first kiss in kindergarten.
His name was Daniel Baca,
I am not a child of divorce.
No, I am a child of so much more.
Divorce was finality and
I remember walking into Garduno's Resteraunt
And saying in a broken, tear clenched voice.
Party of three.
And somehow that destroyed me.
We had always been together,
And I remember seeing my mother
Console my father after losing his own dad.
I sat at the back of the church, like watching a movie,
My mother rubbed his back, because, even though she hated him,
She knew he was hurting.
I let my hopes rise at seeing such tenderness,
But it was choked out of me,
By my own raw throat.
And I remember walking up to the door
Of my mother's apartment.
I remember seeing the room
My brother and I would share.
And I wanted to take hold of him
And tell him that we would be alright,
That somehow we would make it.
But I wasn't that brave.
So I let him make jokes
And laugh uncomfortably, unbefitting for a ten year old.
I would start highschool in this apartment.
I remember so much
And not all of it is good,
But its what made me who I am today.
I am not a child of divorce.
I am a daughter and a sister
I am beyond everything people label me.
I am a people pleaser because I grew up too quickly.
But I am not a cynic, and I belive in love
I will always believe in love.
I no longer pray to a blue sky,
I pray only to myself,
My own strength.
I am not a chid of divorce.
I am a child swaddled in yellow and in blue,
And loved, regardless of my shortcomings.
I am a child of a broken marriage
Of a father who now regrets
His words and actions I dare not ask of.
And a mother still bitter and resentful.
Hell I don't blame them for being human.
It was hard, and almost unbearable.
But it was mine.
And I sometimes, I think,
Divorce would have been easier,
Earlier,
But then, who would I be?


My question is a little odd so I'll try to get to the point.
I have a 1 year old child. Her father and I get along well when we aren't together, but have a tough time setting boundaries with one another when we are, which tends to lead to arguing. We live 8 hours away from one another and we've been apart for 4 months. He came to see her almost two months ago and wound up staying for almost a month. We talked about being together again, but I couldn't move back over there due to my job and basically I have more help over here with childcare than if I were to move back over there. I know it can't stay this way, I don't want to put my daughter through the whole mom and dad are together, mom and dad aren't together. I know that isn't fair to her and when she's old enough to remember I don't want her to remember that. Like I said before we get along together very well when we're apart, but it seems so hard to be with him physically because I feel like not only am I taking care of her, but I'm also taking care of a fully capable man. He often doesn't realize that I need him to help even if it's just a small thing like taking out the trash, or giving her a bath and when I bring it up to him, he gets so defensive about it. I guess my question is, though, I'm sick of the whole together not together, but he never gives me a clear cut answer as to what he wants. I don't want to be hurt, of course, by going over there to live with him, only for him to not want me to be there after all. How do I go about talking to him about this? It's really hard for me to talk to him about something this serious over the phone, but that's the only way. I tend to get tongue tied and not know what to say about our situation. He is a good person and he loves me and his daughter, but I'd hate to say "alright, choose, do you want to be with me or not?" What could be a nicer, alternative way to approach this conversation without coming off so forceful about the whole thing?


My husband is a loving husband, and mostly a good father.. we have been together for 2.5 years and one of the reasons I was so attracted to him was because he is such a good father to his little girl, she is 5 and lives with her mother.

We just had a baby, she is 8 weeks old now. And he hardly pays attention to her at all, he does something if I really bug him about it, he doesn't want to hold her, or put her to bed, or anything, nothing.

But he treats his other daughter completly different, loving, caring, gives her everything she wants. Just the other night he came home from work and I asked him if he could give our daughter a bath so I could go to the store and still get her in bed on time, and he said he was 'tired', so I did the bath and skipped the store. Less than a half an hour later his ex called because their daughter wanted him to come over and 'play' with her before bed. He didn't even ask me if it was okay, not that he needs my permission, but he just up and left, and was gone for hours. My question is WHY? He was gone for 3 hours, and when he got home, he didn;t even ask how our daughter was or if I had any problems putting her to bed. And sometimes he will go to the mall and get his daughter a whole bunch of clothes and winter boots, and buy nothing for our daughter. I understand our child is younger and can't really play with toys yet but we still NEED things for her like diapers and blankets. I need to address this issue with him but I don't know where to start, why is he doing this?

He also went christmas shopping the other day, came home with bags full of presents for his daughter, and none for ours, this is her FIRST christmas and I was so excited, and now I am just down right furious. Am I over reacting?

I wouldn't be asking if it was just these issues, but its with everything, he treats our daughter as if she isn't even his, he is always there for his other daughter, never for ours.


We have been together for over 8 years and have a 1 year old daughter together. We have a love/hate relationship but recently it has got to the point where I just wish I could just pack my bags and leave.
He cheated on me about 3 years ago but I took him back because we were not living together and were on/off but I did resent him for it.
Since our daughter has been born he has barely helped out with anything, he does not change any nappies, bath her, feed her etc and the only time he spends with her is when he is sitting at his computer (he will put her on his lap)He has a marijuana habit which he won't give up, He got a speeding fine while driving my car which was $500 and I have had to take the blame for it as he insisted he would lose his job if he lost his license. I have only just discovered he has another speeding fine he has been hiding from me and paying it off behind my back (we had a huge argument over where his money goes every week and it all came out) and just recently I got a mastercard statement in the post for him stating he has racked up $4000 in 3 months (I had no idea he had this card as he had been hiding the statements from me) He says he didn't realise it got to so much and he does not know what he has spent all that money on which I think is complete BS! I work from home and am currently earning upto $600pw, I don't know how we would survive if I was not working.
Basically he is just putting us both in debt for no good reason and it is not fair on our daughter, I want the best for her and he is not being the father I thought he would be. we are paying off a mortgage together so it is not so easy for me to just walk out the door, I don't know what to do? We are arguing every other day and just seem to hate each other.


You have to know the entire story to understand...so here it is...sorry it's lengthy...

My ex and I dated on and off. When I finally broke it off with her she tried everything to get back together. I had to change the locks on my doors! She called and told me she was pregnant and it was mine. Trying to be responsible, I took her back. 3 weeks after moving back in with me, I come home early from work and she and her twin (skanky) sister are sitting outside smoking and drinking daiqiuiri's! She then tells me that she had a miscarriage and didn't know how to tell me!!!! By the way during these 3 weeks she quit her job, so that I could support her.

So ok, she has a miscarriage, I'm sad and relieved all at the same time, then 2 weeks after this she is throwing up and super tired, well we took another pregnancy test and it was positive. My family and I believe she was never pregnant in the first place and lied to get back with me. Then after convincing me that she was already pregnant and we could have unprotected sex, she became pregnant!!!

So we had our daughter at the beginning of April, she went back to work at the end of May. She began acting very strangely, not coming home after work and on her day off (she only worked 4 days a week) she would ask my parents to keep our daughter. I find out that she has been leaving work with a guy she works with (who by the way is married) and started sleeping with him instead of coming home to help me with our child. So we break it off again (for good this time).

So 4 months later I meet my present wife. She is wonderful with my daughter. They both love each other very much! My ex hates this. We dated for a year and recently got married in October.

My ex has tried everything, she has keyed my wife's car, broken our bedroom window, in court accused my wife of a drug addiction (she has never even taken a pain pill, much less used drugs). My new wife reassures me everyday that we will make it through this. She comes from a divorced family who all get along great seriously, we have, what she calls "all 4 of her parents" over together all the time.

So back to the ex, in the past year we have been to court 3 times. Our schedule is so crazy it's like a circus. I have my daughter every other Saturday night and I pick her up from daycare monday-thursday at 4pm and have to have her home fed, bathed and clothed by 7pm (20 minutes away) So basically I get home we play for a while then we all eat dinner and I bathe her quickly and get her dressed then it's off to mom's house, who is usually never home and left with my ex's mother. On the weekends that my ex has her, I pick her up from the daycare on Monday and she looks like she hasn't been bathed all weekend.

I am paying $740/month in child support. Which she has used to purchase a new car, new breasts and a whole new wardrobe to fit them in. While she dresses our daughter in rags or shirts that say "If you think I'm cute, you should see my mom"

She has been fired from her last 2 jobs and is currently pregnant (with unknown father, she told the daycare it's definitely down to 2 guys). She drops our child off at daycare at 6:30am and goes home and sits on the couch all day and lets me pick her up and deliver her fed, bathed and clothed. Sometimes the next day my daughter will have on the same clothes or pajamas that I sent her home in the night before and when I ask her if she slept in them she says yes!! When I confront the ex about this she tells me that I need to give her more money so she can buy more clothes for our daughter. As if $740 isn't enough to buy a two year old clothes!

I just don't understand how such a negative roll model gets $740/month, spends it on her sits on her butt all day, and gets to be primary custodial parent!

I just want more time with my child 2 nights a month and the 2 1/2 hours on weekdays that are spent rushing around is not fair!

Sorry for the long version and there is tons of things not mentioned, I just need help!!!!!!!

Fathers that have custody of their children, let me know what I can do.
By the way, my wife and I both have good jobs. We just bought a new house (nothing super fancy, just what we could afford) and my daughter has her own room and play room.

My ex lives with her mother and her sister and the sister's child.


I love my boyfriend we have been together for 2 years now and have a 6 month daughter. Ever since she was born he has never given her a bath. driven anywhere by himself with her. never feed her no real baby food. doesn't really get her anything I got her everything she has (and i dont work). so pretty much what i'm saying is he is a bad father. but he is a good boyfriend what should i do?
i am a fulltime student i dont have to work.
i am a fulltime student i dont have to work.


Okay, I'll try to keep this brief...

I'm 27 and white and my ex is 44 and Indian, we were together for 4 years before I fell pregnant. He ended our relationship as soon as I told him. We remained good friends for a year or so regardless and I actually thought we'd manage a platonic relationship, and raising our daughter as friends. My daughter is now 3.

Now during the 4 years together before falling pregnant, my ex was estranged from his daughter from his first marriage. That daughter is now 19 and refuses to talk to him. He took her mom (1st wife) to court and made their lives a misery. I know very little about the situation to be honest as he's hidden most of the details from me. But it must have been quite bad as father and daughter haven't spoken for 5 years nearly now. And as an outsider to the situation I was led to believe it was the mother poisoning the daughter against him...I'm not so sure now.

Now, for the last 6 months things are starting to go down hill quickly. My ex is refusing to pay maintenance or to even help with essentials like new school uniform. When our daughter stays at his house for the weekend, they do nothing but watch telly and eat junk food. She doesn't get bathed and I'm quite certain she hardly sleeps at night, and he has very little control of her at all. She always comes home on a Monday in a right state; dirty, tired, emotional and very naughty. It takes me all week to get her back into a decent routine, and then we go through the whole thing again. She loves her Daddy to death, but I'm starting to think it's only because he lets her get away with murder.

My ex has made it quite clear that I'll regret it if I stand between them.

Am I seeing history repeating itself? Should I get out while I can? Or am I being over dramatic? Do I just let her make her own mind up when she's old enough, and take a step back and watch? I'm so confused. I really don't want to stop contact, but I can't seem to think of a middle ground here. I've tried emailing him (as were not talking) and explaining as nicely as I can, and he just replies saying he is quite capable of knowing how to look after his daughter. Yet the evidence is screaming that he isn't. Arrrrgggh!!!! Please someone, shed some light on this for me. Thanks xxx
PS, we were not married, fortunately. And I also take on board that I didn't fall pregnant. My language skills are hopeless. Thanks for the advice peeps xx


I asked this earlier but seems to have disappeared? Anyway..

As I am not a parent nor child psychologist, I need some advice. My new man has 50% custody of his daughter who will be 3 in two months. It would appear that he regularly showers with his daughter. On a recent trip away with them when he had the choice of her bathing with my 6 yr old niece, on all but one occasion, which I forced, he chose to shower with his daughter. So I know ita��s not a matter of convenience, more a matter of his routine with his daughter.

He also enjoys sleeping with her and brings her into his bed in the early hours of the morning. When I questioned this his words were a�?I enjoy the love, kisses and cuddles we sharea�?. My response a�?I wouldna��t go around saying that to peoplea�?.

I love him dearly but am not comfortable with him now. In fact am feeling a little repulsed. The thought of him in my bed kissing and cuddling me and showering with me every day for one week and then him doing the exact same stuff with his daughter the next week is kinda weirding me out. It just doesna��t feel right.

She also regularly grabs at his penis which he laughs off and says ita��s a stage shea��s going through. Shea��s been doing this since Ia��ve known them which is about 5 months. How long is a a�?stagea��? And if shea��s doing this in public with his clothes on, does that mean she grabs it when hea��s naked?

Hea��s not a nudist, in fact hea��s the most shy guy about his body Ia��ve ever met. So ita��s not that.

I had a beautiful loving relationship with my father. I was the apple of his eye and he was my hero. I didna��t sleep or bathe with my father to develop our strong bond.

Ia��m sure hea��s not sexually abusing her. Ia��m thinking hea��s put his daughter into a very adult role and even though Ia��m here to fill the adult void in his life, he doesna��t appear to be keen to change his behaviour with her.

What do other people think? Am I being overly sensitive? A prude perhaps? Should I just walk away from this? Should I say something and how? Wea��ve discussed moving in together but I dona��t know if I can. Not with him doing the same things with his daughter every second week that he does with me on the other week.



My daughter and I always had the same routine I would give her a bath and then we would go downstairs get her some milk say good night to her father and then go back upstairs to her bedroom and read her books until she falls asleep. Well now that my husband and I are now getting a divorce and I know she knows that some thing is up all she wants to do is watch TV and she doesn't sleep well and my husband, is going against my suggestions in saying that if she is crying that sometimes we should let her cry, but he says that he is going to spoil her and she knows that so she watches her movies until 1030 pm or later at night and doesn't get proper rest, is there anything that I can do to help her? I know that she is going to cry because she is not going to get her way, but there has to be a way for us to come together on this instead of us all butting heads. If anyone can help I would greatly appreciate it.

Thank you!


I have an 8 year old daughter, and I'm engaged to a girl who has a 7 year old son, who has mainly been in the custody of his father. However, he's been staying with us since the past couple weeks.

Yesterday, I came home from work and as I walked past the bathroom door, I heard bath water splashing....and both my daughter's voice AND my fiancee's son's voice! I tried to open the door, but it was locked. I then burst into the living room and demanded "What the hell are they doing in a tub nude together?"

My fiancee said "Relax, they're just kids, they aren't gonna have sex--this is my mother. Mom, this is my fiance."

I ignored the introduction and told her this is extremely inappropriate, but she gave me a "We-have-company" look, and I had to just force a grin and talk to her mother.

I don't think boys and girls should be nude together at any age, and I'm thoroughly upset my fiancee would allow something like that! Or am I just overreacting?


My bf just found out about his daughter less than a year ago. he now shares custody of her. I spent the the other night and witnessed him taking a bath with his 2 year old daughter. He had on boxers which he claimed he wears every time they take a bath together, but the little girl asked "Daddy are you naked?" He laughed this question off. It struck me as odd that she would even ask that. I need assurance that this may be normal father and daughter behavior being that I was never close with my fahter.


First of all I will use the King James version of the Bible even though I prefer the new living translation. The Bible clearly tells us how to identify a false prophit.

Deu 18:22 When a prophet speaketh in the name of the LORD, if the thing follow not, nor come to pass, that [is] the thing which the LORD hath not spoken, [but] the prophet hath spoken it presumptuously: thou shalt not be afraid of him.

Now look at some of the things you founders have said in the name of the Lord. ( if you dare)

lets start with Joe Smith

Joseph Smith, the founder of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, commonly known as the Mormons, claimed to be a prophet of God. Was he a prophet of the true and living God? There are two ways to find out. First, compare what he says to Scripture and if what the Prophet teaches contradict Scripture, then he is false. The second way is to examine any prophecies that he has made. If a single prophecy fails, then the person is a false prophet.
Please note that having several fulfilled prophecies and even a single false prophecy still means that the person is not a true prophet of God. The test for a prophet is not if he gets them most right, but all right. The Bible tells us...
"But the prophet who shall speak a word presumptuously in My name which I have not commanded him to speak, or which he shall speak in the name of other gods, that prophet shall die.a�� 21 "And you may say in your heart, a�?How shall we know the word which the Lord has not spoken?a�� 22 "When a prophet speaks in the name of the Lord, if the thing does not come about or come true, that is the thing which the Lord has not spoken. The prophet has spoken it presumptuously; you shall not be afraid of him," (Deut. 18:20-22). emphasis added.
We can see that the criteria of a true prophet is not failing when predicting the future. This is because God, who is outside of time and the creator of the universe, makes no mistakes when he tells us what will happen. Those prophets whom he has called will not make a mistake and prophesy the future, since to do so would mean the person is not speaking on God's behalf. Therefore, if anyone claims to be a prophet of God and speaks in the name of God and gives a prophecy that fails, then the person is not of God.
Did Joseph Smith make any prophecies? Yes he did. Here are just a few of his false prophecies.
False prophecies of Joseph Smith
History of the Church
Prophecy about Jesus return within 56 years - "President Smith then stated that the meeting had been called, because God had commanded it; and it was made known to him by vision and by the Holy Spirit. He then gave a relation of some of the circumstances attending us while journeying to Zion--our trials, sufferings; and said God had not designed all this for nothing, but He had it in remembrance yet; and it was the will of God that those who went to Zion, with a determination to lay down their lives, if necessary, should be ordained to the ministry, and go forth to prune the vineyard for the last time, or the coming of the Lord, which was nigh--even fifty-six years should wind up the scene." (History of the Church, Vol. 2:189) See context.
Jesus did not return within fifty-six years when 1891 arrived.
Doctrine and Covenants
Prophecy that the temple would be built in Missouri within Smith's Generation - "Yea, the word of the Lord concerning his church, established in the last days for the restoration of his people, as he has spoken by the mouth of his prophets, and for the gathering of his saints to stand upon Mount Zion,i which shall be the city of New Jerusalem. 3 Which city shall be built, beginning at the temple lot, which is appointed by the finger of the Lord, in the western boundaries of the State of Missouri, and dedicated by the hand of Joseph Smith, Jun., and others with whom the Lord was well pleased. 4 Verily this is the word of the Lord, that the city New Jerusalem shall be built by the gathering of the saints, beginning at this place, even the place of the temple, which temple shall be reared in this generation. 5 For verily this generation shall not all pass away until an house shall be built unto the Lord, and a cloud shall rest upon it, which cloud shall be even the glory of the Lord, which shall fill the house... 31 Therefore, as I said concerning the sons of Moses for the sons of Moses and also the sons of Aaron shall offer an acceptable offering and sacrifice in the house of the Lord, which house shall be built unto the Lord in this generation, upon the consecrated spot as I have appointed." (Doctrines and Covenants 84:2-5,31.) See context.
The Mormons were driven out of Jackson County in 1833. They were not gathered there in accordance to this prophecy dealing with building the temple.
The prophecy clearly states that the generation present when the prophecy was given would not pass away until the temple was built at the western boundaries of the state of Missouri which is in Independence. This clearly failed.
All Nations would be involved in the American Civil War - "Verily, thus saith the Lord concerning the wars that will shortly come to pass, beginning at the rebellion of South Carolina, which will eventually terminate in the death and misery of many souls; 2 And the time will come that war will be poured out upon all nations, beginning at this place. 3 For behold, the Southern States shall be divided against the Northern States, and the Southern States will call on other nations, even the nation of Great Britain, as it is called, and they shall also call upon other nations, in order to defend themselves against other nations; and then war shall be poured out upon all nations," (Doctrine and Covenants 87:1-3). See context
This is clearly another false prophecy since all nations did not get involved in the American Civil War.
Prophesy that the earth will tremble and the sun be hidden in "not many days": "For not many days hence and the earth shall tremble and reel to and fro as a drunken man; and the sun shall hide his face, and shall refuse to give light; and the moon shall be bathed in blood; and the stars shall become exceedingly angry, and shall cast themselves down as a fig that falleth from off a fig-tree," (Doctrine and Covenants 88:87) See context
The sun hasn't yet been hidden nor has the moon hidden its face.
This prophecy was given on 12/27/1832. "Not many days hence"? Since the writing of this article on 6/22/06, it has been 63,364 days or 173 years, 5 months, 26 days. I think that 63,364 days is more than "not many days".
For reference to January 1, 2000 it was 61,000 days (even), or 167 years, 5 days.
Pearl of Great Price
Prophecy that Isaiah 11 was about to be fulfilled - "In addition to these, he quoted the eleventh chapter of Isaiah, saying that it was about to be fulfilled. He quoted also the third chapter of Acts, twenty-second and twenty-third verses, precisely as they stand in our New Testament. He said that that prophet was Christ; but the day had not yet come when a�?they who would not hear his voice should be cut off from among the people,a�? but soon would come," (Pearl of Great Price, Joseph Smith, History, verse 40). See context
Isaiah 11:6-9 says, "And the wolf will dwell with the lamb, And the leopard will lie down with the kid, And the calf and the young lion and the fatling together; And a little boy will lead them. 7 Also the cow and the bear will graze; Their young will lie down together; And the lion will eat straw like the ox. 8 And the nursing child will play by the hole of the cobra, And the weaned child will put his hand on the vipera��s den. 9 They will not hurt or destroy in all My holy mountain, For the earth will be full of the knowledge of the Lord As the waters cover the sea."
This has not yet been fulfilled. The wolf is not dwelling with the lamb, the calf and the lion are not together, nor are the cow and bear grazing together. The lion is not eating straw like an ox. Nursing children are not playing in the dens of cobras.

Interesting Quotes from Brigham Young
the Second Prophet of the Mormon Church
Brigham Young said your own blood must atone for some sins.
"There is not a man or woman, who violates the covenants made with their God, that will not be required to pay the debt. The blood of Christ will never wipe that out, your own blood must atone for it . . . " (Journal of Discourses, Vol. 3, page 247; see also, Vol. 4, pp. 53-54, 219-220.)
Brigham Young said you must confess Joseph Smith as a prophet of God in order to be saved.
"...and he that confesseth not that Jesus has come in the flesh and sent Joseph Smith with the fullness of the Gospel to this generation, is not of God, but is Antichrist." (Journal of Discourses, Vol. 9, p. 312).
Brigham Young said his discourses are as good as Scripture.
"I say now, when they [his discourses] are copied and approved by me they are as good Scripture as is couched in this Bible . . . " (Journal of Discourses, Vol. 13, p. 264; see also page 95.)
Brigham Young said he had never given any counsel that was wrong.
"I am here to answer. I shall be on hand to answer when I am called upon, for all the counsel and for all the instruction that I have given to this people. If there is an Elder here, or any member of this Church, called the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, who can bring up the first idea, the first sentence that I have delivered to the people as counsel that is wrong, I really wish they would do it; but they cannot do it, for the simple reason that I have never given counsel that is wrong; this is the reason." (Journal of Discourses, Vol. 16, page 161.)
Brigham Young compared his sermons with scripture.
"I know just as well what to teach this people and just what to say to them and what to do in order to bring them into the celestial kingdom...I have never yet preached a sermon and sent it out to the children of men, that they may not call Scripture. Let me have the privilege of correcting a sermon, and it is as good Scripture as they deserve. The people have the oracles of God continually." (Journal of Discourses, Vol. 13, p. 95.)
Brigham Young said you are damned if you deny polygamy.
"Now if any of you will deny the plurality of wives, and continue to do so, I promise that you will be damned." (Journal of Discourses, Vol. 3, p. 266). Also, "The only men who become Gods, even the Sons of God, are those who enter into polygamy." (Journal of Discourses, Vol. 11, page 269).
Brigham Young said you can't get to the highest heaven without Joseph Smith's consent.
"...no man or woman in this dispensation will ever enter into the celestial kingdom of God without the consent of Joseph Smith." (Journal of Discourses, Vol. 7, p. 289).
Brigham Young said God was progressing in knowledge.
"God himself is increasing and progressing in knowledge, power, and dominion, and will do so, worlds without end." (Journal of Discourses, Vol. 6, p. 120).
Brigham Young boasted.
"What man or woman on earth, what spirit in the spirit-world can say truthfully that I ever gave a wrong word of counsel, or a word of advice that could not be sanctioned by the heavens? The success which has attended me in my presidency is owing to the blessings and mercy of the Almighty . . . " (Journal of Discourses, Vol. 12, p. 127).
Brigham Young said that we are obligated to keep all the laws and ordinances of God.
"Some of you may ask, a�?Is there a single ordinance to be dispensed with? Is there one of the commandments that God has enjoined upon the people, that he will excuse them from obeying?' Not one, no matter how trifling or small in our own estimation. No matter if we esteem them non-essential, or least or last of all the commandments of the house of God, we are under obligation to observe them." (Journal of Discourses, Vol. 8, p. 339).
Brigham Young said Jesus' birth was as natural as ours.
"The birth of the Savior was as natural as the births of our children; it was the result of natural action. He partook of flesh and blood--was begotten of his Father, as we were of our fathers." (Journal of Discourses, Vol. 8, p. 115).
Brigham Young said that God the Father and Mary 'do it.'
"When the time came that His first-born, the Saviour, should come into the world and take a tabernacle, the Father came Himself and favoured that spirit with a tabernacle instead of letting any other man do it." (Journal of Discourses, Vol. 4, Page 218.) "The birth of the Savior was as natural as are the births of our children; it was the result of natural action. He partook of flesh and blood -- was begotten of his Father, as we were of our fathers." (Journal of Discourses, Vol. 8, page 115). Note: the late Bruce McConkie who was a member of the First Council of the Seventy stated "There is nothing figurative about his paternity; he was begotten, conceived and born in the normal and natural course of events..." (Mormon Doctrine, by Bruce McConkie, page 742.)
Brigham Young said that Jesus was not begotten by the Holy Spirit
"I have given you a few leading items upon this subject, but a great deal more remains to be told. Now, remember from this time forth, and for ever, that Jesus Christ was not begotten by the Holy Ghost." (Journal of Discourses, Vol. 1, page 51).
Brigham Young taught that Adam was God.
"Now hear it, O inhabitants of the earth, Jew and Gentile, Saint and sinner! When our father Adam came into the garden of Eden, he came into it with a celestial body, and brought Eve, one of his wives, with him. He helped to make and organize this world. He is Michael, the Archangel, the Ancient of Days! about whom holy men have written and spoken -- He is our Father, and our God, and the only God with whom we have to do. Every man upon the earth, professing Christians or non professing, must hear it, and will know it sooner or later." (Journal of Discourses, Vol. 1, page 50).
Brigham Young made a false prophecy?
"In the days of Joseph [Smith] it was considered a great privilege to be permitted to speak to a member of Congress, but twenty-six years will not pass away before the Elders of this Church will be as much thought of as the kings on their thrones." (Journal of Discourses, Vol. 4, page 40.)
Brigham Young comments about blacks
"You see some classes of the human family that are black, uncouth, uncomely, disagreeable and low in their habits, wild, and seemingly deprived of nearly all the blessings of the intelligence that is generally bestowed upon mankind....Cain slew his brother. Can might have been killed, and that would have put a termination to that line of human beings. This was not to be, and the Lord put a mark upon him, which is the flat nose and black skin." (Journal of Discourses, Vol. 7, page 290).
"In our first settlement in Missouri, it was said by our enemies that we intended to tamper with the slaves, not that we had any idea of the kind, for such a thing never entered our minds. We knew that the children of Ham were to be the "servant of servants," and no power under heaven could hinder it, so long as the Lord would permit them to welter under the curse and those were known to be our religious views concerning them." (Journal of Discourses, Volume 2, page 172.)
"Shall I tell you the law of God in regard to the African race? If the white man who belongs to the chosen seed mixes his blood with the seed of Cain, the penalty, under the law of God, is death on the spot. This will always be so." (Journal of Discourses, Volume 10, page 110.)

Some of the Many Changes in the
Book of Mormon
Joseph Smith said "that the Book of Mormon was the most correct of any book on earth, and the keystone of our religion, and a man would get nearer to God by abiding by its precepts, than by any other book" (History of the Church, Vol. 4, page 461). Allegedly it was translated by the power of God. Nevertheless, it has some 4,000 changes in it. Some are mere spelling corrections, but others are significant changes. Why is this so if the book of Mormon was translated accurately by the hand of God? Why would the Mormon Church continue to change the work even after Joseph Smith's death?
Following is a very small sample of the changes in the Book of Mormon.
Check them out for yourself.

1830 Edition of the Book of Mormon1981 Edition of the Book of Mormon
1 Nephi 11:18"And he said unto me, Behold, the virgin which thou seest, is the mother of [. . . . ] God, after the manner of the flesh"And he said unto me: Behold, the virgin whom thou seest is the mother of the Son of God, after the manner of the flesh."
1 Nephi 11:21"And the angel said unto me, behold the Lamb of God, yea, even the [. . . . ] Eternal Father!...""And the angel said unto me: Behold the Lamb of God, yea, even the Son of the Eternal Father!..."
1 Nephi 11:32"...And I looked and beheld the Lamb of God, that he was taken by the people; yea, [. . . . ] the Everlasting God, was judged of the world...""...And I looked and beheld the Lamb of God, that he was taken by the people; yea, the Son of the everlasting God was judged of the world..."
1 Nephi 13:40"...and shall make known to all kindreds, tongues, and people, that the Lamb of God is [. . . . ] the Eternal Father and the Savior of the world...""...and shall make known to all kindreds, tongues, and people that the Lamb of God is the Son of the Eternal Father, and the Savior of the World..."
1 Nephi 19:20"...for had not the Lord been merciful, to shew unto me concerning them, even as he had prophets of old; [. . . . ] for he surely...""...for had not the Lord been merciful, to show unto me concerning them, even as he had prophets of old, I should have perished also."
1 Nephi 20:1
changed in 1964 ed."Hearken and hear this, O house of Jacob, which are called by the name of Israel, and are come forth out of the waters of Judah,[. . . . ] which swear...""Hearken and hear this, O house of Jacob, who are called by the name of Israel, and are come forth out of the waters of Judah, or out of the waters of baptism, who swear..."
Mosiah 21:28
changed in 1964 ed."...king Benjamin had a gift from God, whereby he could interpret such engravings;...""...king Mosiah had a gift from God, whereby he could interpret such engravings;..."
Alma 29:4"...yea, I know that he allotteth unto men, yea, decreeth unto them decrees which are unalterable, according to their wills...""...yea, I know that he allotteth unto men [ . . . .]according to their wills..."
Alma 46:40"...because of the excellent qualities of the many plants and roots which God had prepared, to remove the cause of diseases which was subsequent to man by the nature of the climate.""...because of the excellent qualities of the many plants and roots which God had prepared to removed the cause of diseases, to which men were subject by the nature of the climate."
3 Nephi 3:23"And the land which was appointed was the land of Zarahemla, and the land which was between the land of Zarahemla and the land Bountiful.""And the land which was appointed was the land of Zarahemla [ . . . .] and the land Bountiful..."
3 Nephi 10:4"O ye people of these great cities which have fallen which are a descendant of Jacob; yea which are of the house of Israel; O ye people of the house of Israel, how oft have I gathered you...""O ye people of these great cities which have fallen, who are descendants of Jacob, yea, who are of the house of Israel, [. . . . ] how oft have I gathered you..."
3 Nephi 16:10"and thus commandeth the Father that I should say unto you at that day, When the Gentiles shall sin against my Gospel, and shall subject the fulness of my Gospel, and shall be lifted up...""And thus commandeth the Father that I should say unto you: At that day when the Gentiles shall sin against my gospel,[. . . . ] and shall be lifted up..."
3 Nephi 22:4"...for thou shalt forget the shame of thy youth, [. . . . ] and shalt not remember the reproach of thy widowhood any more.""...for thou shalt forget the shame of thy youth, and shalt not remember the reproach of thy youth, and shalt not remember the reproach of thy widowhood any more."
Ether 9:2"...nevertheless, the Lord was merciful unto Omer, and also to his sons and to his daughters, which were not, or which did not seek his destruction.""Nevertheless, the Lord was merciful unto Omer, and also to his sons, and to his daughters [. . . . ] who did not seek his destruction."






Ok so when i was growing up my parents saw no problem with my brother "who is 4 years older then me" taking a bath with me! I have never saw a problem with it either... My children have always taken baths with my husband and i- So pretty much we are an open family... We dont so much freak about about seeing eachother naked...Anyways so here recently i have had some neg feedback on this from my father in law and my father in laws mother... Also my 2 year old and 4 year old have rooms that are close together and when my daughter gets scared in the middle of the night she will go and get in her brothers bed with him... I am just curious on what others think of this... "She can come get in bed with me and her father but yet she chooses her brother..lol" Anyways please let me know what you think and if you think it is bad then what are the possible neg outcomes of letting this happen?
Thanks for all the feedback!! You have really made me feel better about it! And yes i agree that this cant last much longer... I dont want him going to school talking about moms boobs or daddys Mr. Winkie or sisters Bobo... lol :) Thank for all the feedback!!
Thanks for all the feedback!! You have really made me feel better about it! And yes i agree that this cant last much longer... I dont want him going to school talking about moms boobs or daddys Mr. Winkie or sisters Bobo... lol :) Thank for all the feedback!!


im 15 and just had a daughter she is 8 days old i am still the father but my mum wont let him live with us as she says there is no room but there is he is going to decorate the spare bedroom for our daughter and he can share with me, well she wont accept that well we have done the worst thing already so we cant do nothing more we just want to be together looking after our daughter. My mum always take over when i go to bath, feed, change and take my daughter out she tells me she wants to be a good nan but it seems as if she wants to do everything i am not learning much if she takes over every day if i take her out my mum fones me up and tells me to change her or time for a feed and ive done it alreaady so she goes in a mood and wont talk to me. My bf isnt allowed round inless she says so , so i have to go to his with our daughter is there any way i can talk to my mum with out her shouting at me every time i try say something





well, i practice japanese culture so my bf, daughter, and i bathe together every day. but i just graduated so i'm going on a little vacation with my kappa psi phi girls for a week. whenever we take baths together it's always me, the baby's father(my bf) and me but now it will just be those 2. i'm not sure if they should continue to bate together without me, is it healthy?


I have always been very much for fathers rights, and have always thought it disgusting when mothers keep fathers from having a relationship with their child based on what happened in the parents relationship. In my situation, the relationship between my partner and I is very rocky, he has changed a lot since we met and has no respect for me and no real interest in our daughter who is 7.5 months. It's no good for any of us that we are together at the moment, as we bicker constantly but I feel we cannot split because I simply wouldn't trust him to look after our daughter alone, which he would obviously do if he got access which he no doubt would. He sees it as no problem to take her around pubs whilst he gets drunk (at the moment I am there too, sober and caring for baby but if we split he would be drunk in charge of her), he has no idea how to bath her, or what her different cries mean, he leaves her unsupervised if I just ask him to watch her whilst I go to the toilet or for....
a quick bath, causing her to have bumped her head numerous times, have fallen out of her swing as he didnt strap her in, and last time he left her in front of the tv on the floor whilst he went upstairs to play on the computer - when I found he'd done this I immediately went to check on her and she had the tv wire in her mouth and was gradually pulling the tv off of the unit - it would've landed on her if she'd been left a couple of minutes more. though he doesn't show much interest in her, he has told me that if we split he would want equal custody just to spite me, and would tell everyone I cheated (untrue) so that they felt sorry for him and would help him look after her. He has even threatened violence towards me if I left. I know i could ask that access be supervised at first, but he would easily be able to act responsible for that then go back to his old ways on his own with her. Even in the car, he never straps in her seat, resulting in her falling out of it onto the...
seat and nearly the floor last time, if he had been going at speed she could've been seriously hurt. I just dont know what to do, people always say to me he would jus have to do one thing wrong and wouldnt be allowed to see her anymore, but i dont want to risk her wellbeing at all. help!
But even if I request supervised access, once they think he is ok to see her on his own (he can easily act interested when he wants to), they'll just allow this to happen, won't they?


My husband and I are raising our two granddaughters the oldest being severely autistic.Ages 4 & 6. Oct of 07 our daughter and her boyfriend got off drugs and needed a place to start over. We took them in hoping we could again be grandparents and not mom and dad to the little ones. (boyfriend is not father to kids) he is not in the picture due to drugs/alcohol. It's been three and a half months and she finally got a job at a fast food restaurant and he hasn't found employment. He raised himself due to total dysfunctional household with drugs. He is 23 she is 26. They keep their room a mess, and I am constantly telling them how to take care of the kids. The kids need a bath, the kids need to brush their teeth, etc. I let them move in hoping against all odds that I wouldnt have to raise these kids forever and maybe they would get it together. I have a health condition and tire easily. I think it was easier before they moved in. They do not drive and I am a taxi to court etc.


Hi i have a daughter who is 22 months old. He father hasnt really been in the picture too much. We have never been married or living together. He is not on her birth certificate. We are now in court but have to got o mediation first.Until or mediation date we agreed that he could see her during these 6 weeks until that mediation day. Im so concerned because he has bathed with our daughter behind closed doors and i was not aware of this. Not only does this worry me because of other things but also for hygiene purposes. Last wednesday he brought he back bathed. She was only at his house from 9-6 and she was not dirty or anything. I dont understand why he bathed her when i had send her bathed already and she was only there for the day. I texted him and asked him not to give her a bath. I do every night. Now its wednesday again and she came home bathed again with the same clothes again meaning she didnt get dirty and when i was changing her diaper she said "ouwey", make me wonder if he is scrubbing her hard or what. Im so stressed out i dont know what to do because the court order says he can see her during these 6 weeks. Im pregnant from my new relationship and this is causing me alot of stress ontop of the fact that i already have a risky pregnancy. Im fighting for sole custody since i have always had it either way. He is supposed to take her again on sunday i dont want her to go im concerned. I talked to my mediator and she said i need to get some councelling to get over this and that i need to trust him? Would you? What can i do?


I have been having a problem with my husband. We have been married for almost four years and we have a beautiful little 2 year old girl. We have been together since I was 16. I am now almost 23. We have went through everything together. Since we have had our daughter my husband has been a wonderful father. I was able to take the first 18 months of our daughter's life off of work so that I could be with her only because of him and his hardworking attitude. I love him dearly. Because I was able to stay at home I took care of all of the house work and the majority of the parenting (baths, bedtime, diaper changing, etc.). Last year I started working again, shortly after I ran into some health problems. Recently I found a lump on my neck and the doctor found that I have a tumor about 4.3cm on my thyroid. I am undergoing tests right now to see if it is cancer. I have been tired lately and have asked for his help. It doesn't seem like he's trying and I am still doing everything. Any advice?

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